Fairytale of New Pants (To the tune of Fairytale of New York)

Fairytale of New Pants 

(To the tune of Fairytale of New York)

It was Christmas Eve babe.

At the stable yard.

My husband looked at me. 

Pulling uncomfy undies from my rear.

And then he winked at me.

Said: ‘Performance Panties under the tree!’

I turned my face to him;

And dreamed about them.

I’ll be lucky this year.

With Derrieres on my rear.

I’m excited…

There’s a pair beneath my tree.

So Happy Christmas,

I love you baby,

If you’ve bought me Derrieres,

My dreams will come true.

When you’re up at the yard,

Wear great undies I’m told.

As the wind goes right through you,

It's no place for the old.

Performance Panty’s ideal,

For a cold Christmas Eve.

They promise, no seam-lines,

Are waiting for me.

They’re so handsome!

So pretty.

From stable to city.

Performance Panties

Mean riding is comfort once more!

Through my half pass I’m swinging,

In my travers, I’m singing,

I can halt at the corner

Leg yield to the right.

The yard girls, tanked up on snowballs with gin,

are singing ‘Galway Bay’,

And in lovely Derrieres, I’ll stay.

No sore bum! No sore junk. That high jump, I’ll slam-dunk.With the Padded Support System, I’m feeling fine.Padded Panty, no banter, As I go for a canter.Say goodbye, old grey undies, Pray god it's our last. Yard manager, serenading with Prosecco and Pimms, now singing ‘Galway Bay’. And the bells are ringing out For Christmas day!